Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
