We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
