Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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