Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
