Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize