Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize