i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
