I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
