Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
