Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
