I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Come on in and take your pants off
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
