I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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