Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize