hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She announced her abortion via fbk
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
