She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can you bring me the toilet please
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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