If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
