and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize