After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize