And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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