And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
