So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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