all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
