You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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