Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
