glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
