i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
