he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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