I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize