I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
