in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize