he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
