did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
