Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
