Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
