He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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