sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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