I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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