We're facebook friends in real life
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
