yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize