dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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