I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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