I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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