You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize