pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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