I look better un-naked...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
