Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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