u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
