you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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