I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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