If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize