She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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