party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize