I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
