What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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