I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
