...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize