exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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