how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
being pregnant is like rehab
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
