Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
