im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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