Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize