you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
