i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
