best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Success! We fucked roommates!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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