he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
