The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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