handjob tips. give me some.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
