I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
