is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
