Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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