I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
