it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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