return my video game
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize